Dear Diary,

Man, Wash was great today, wasn’t he? I guess it finally really hit me how much better baseball is without relief pitchers. I was pretty afraid that Skip was going to put me in and I was going to blow it again and Coach Leonidas would make me manually open and close the roof again. But Wash pitched a complete game and really got me off the hook! I kinda feel like maybe I’m a little bit responsible for the magical pitching he threw tonight. We had this moment before the game:

Me: Good luck tonight, Jarrod! Let me know if you need any help or feel tuckered out! Don’t worry, I’ve got your back!
Wash: Fuck you, scrub. I’ll show you how it’s done. I can’t have you following me. I’ll pitch the whole game if it’ll keep you in that gladiator helmet. NO MORE NO DECISIONS.

See? It was all because of me! I feel like I was really able to help my team today!

And that’s the Lowe-down!